In January, the new year, most people are turning over a new leaf, setting goals for themselves and making New Year's resolutions.
Have you ever done a self reflection? It is a soul searching look at yourself from everyone else's perspective? It's a real eye-opener. You may say to yourself: "I'm not so bad, I'm a good person, or I'm better than so-and-so". The problem with that resolve is comparing yourself to other people. People are all flawed. The comparison should be to Christ, our redeemer. He is the standard by which all others should strive to be.
I have looked into the mirror recently and not liked the person staring back at me. I see my flaws like I've never seen them before. I realize now more than ever that I need to be diligently seeking to be like the One who gives us strength in our weaknesses.
This is not a pity party, so please don't take it as such. It is an honest account of my self reflection.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I ask “who is she?”
Am I the person that I want to be?
Am I looking within my heart to see?
I thought I was more compassionate, more kind,
But keep this in mind,
The person I see is not happy with me,
She is truly blessed, but does not show enough gratitude,
Her judgment upon others is the incorrect attitude,
I find her to be selfish and somewhat insecure,
Dancing around directness, not truthfully pure,
While honest to a fault, she does not choose her words well,
She has a tough exterior, but her feelings she cannot tell,
To reveal her vulnerability would be a disaster,
If you don’t believe me, then just ask her,
Her life has been turned completely upside down,
How does she smile when deep down there’s a frown?
She’s a real biddy, an unpleasant old hag,
It’s me I’m describing: a relentless nag,
I don’t want to be her; I want to feel better,
I don’t want to wear on people like an old wool sweater:
Itchy and stiff, uncomfortable and irritating,
So it is with myself I am constantly debating,
I prefer to be soft, kind, friendly and fun,
But the one in the mirror is the lonely one,
Not wanting to get hurt again by any other tragedy,
I feel the walls going up all around me,
So mirror, mirror on the wall,
God has a reason for everything, big or small,
Can’t change the happenings of the past,
But healing is slow, when I want it to be fast,
Reflection of mine, I would prefer to like you,
Opportunities are many, but successes are few,
I know I am made strong, because I am weak,
2 Corinthians 12:10 gives me the reflection that I seek.
Tammy Harvey
written: 11/27/2019