Cancer is not Convenient

 

*** All of these things have happened to either myself, my husband, my mother, or my close friend. Yet, we continue to fight. ***

Cancer is not convenient,

When you get the call that the biopsy is positive,

When your diagnosis comes one month before your son’s wedding,

When your heart breaks as you hear the words “stage 4”,

Cancer is not convenient,

When you spend 5 weeks taking daily radiation,

When the radiation takes 15 minutes and the travel time is an hour and a half,

When you buzz your head because your hair is falling out,

Cancer is not convenient,

When your food no longer has any taste,

When your cancer metastasizes after being “cancer free”,

When you run out of treatment options,

Cancer is not convenient,

When your mind is healthy, but your body is frail,

When your body is healthy, but your mind is frail,

When your cancer mutates and the current treatment plan changes,

Cancer is not convenient,

When your breasts are gone and your chest is flat,

When lymphedema in your arm is a constant threat,

When your mother dies two weeks after your surgery,

Cancer is not convenient,

When you are isolated from others because your white blood count is low,

When you need a blood transfusion because your hemoglobin is too,

When you spend literally all day at an appointment at Duke,

Cancer is not convenient.

Tammy Harvey  2/2/2026

Surprise, Surprise

 

Surprise, surprise, surprise

My January birthday is problematic because the weather is sometimes inclement, and we can’t get out.  On my 40^th Birthday in 2020, for example, we had a 21” snowfall and ice event that shut down the city for weeks.  My party was postponed, indefinitely.  This year I turned 66 and the biggest snow/sleet/ice event nationwide was predicted to arrive two days after my Birthday.  It covered 14 states and we fortunately did not get the brunt of it this time.  I did, indeed, get to celebrate my Birthday in good fashion days before the storm.  The evening before my Birthday was an annual dinner with two of my closest friends who also have January birthdays.  We had first planned a lunch, then it evolved into a dinner and the decision of where to eat was in question.  It was narrowed down to two and I chose the local restaurant in Cary that afternoon.

In the meantime, my son Ted was planning a dinner for the next night on my Birthday.  He had told me to be ready at 5pm and dress nicely.  He would not, however, tell me where we were going and who would be there.  I desperately begged him to not make it a surprise, but he insisted I wait and see.  I get a lot of anxiety in not knowing the specifics of a particular event in advance.  Yet I was forced to be patient.

On the night of the girls’ dinner, I called Ted as I was driving to tell him I was going out to dinner at Lucky 32 with the girls.  A long pause and silence ensued.  He had put the phone on mute to express his surprise to his wife.  That restaurant was indeed the very same one he had reservations for the following night.  How bizarre.  Of all the hundreds of choices in the area to eat, we had chosen the same one.  Now he was surprised and I was confused.  He told me then that he was going to pivot and make other arrangements for my Birthday.  He did, at least, then tell me who was going to join us.  I was having dinner with my three sons.  Yet, the new reservations he made were still a complete surprise, again at his persistence.

I immediately went with my “I told you so”, and how the surprise was on him.  If he had let me in on his surprise, I would not have chosen Lucky 32 as my girls’ dinner date.  He said to go and enjoy myself and no worries.  I did just that.  We had a most delicious meal with free desserts topped with lighted candles.

The next evening, Ted picked me up and we headed over to Thomas’ house nearby.  We went in to visit Danielle and Nellie.  At some point, they leisurely said it was time to leave.  Thomas drove and the traffic was insane!  It was bumper to bumper on the interstate.  There were red taillights as far as I could see.  This just heightened my anxiety.  As we ventured along, I began to guess that we were going to downtown Raleigh.  In fact, we did make it to our destination, a restaurant named Birdies located on Fayetteville St in downtown Raleigh.  I don’t get to Raleigh much, especially at night.  Joshua, who lives in North Raleigh, was there to meet us.  We had a wonderful dinner at a place none of us had been to before except Thomas.  The starters were fabulous.  We had pull-apart bread with a scallion butter, a flatbread with hot honey sauce, and non-alcoholic bloody Mary deviled eggs.  I had a shaved Brussels & Quinoa salad that included dried apricots, baby arugula, roasted almonds, local goat cheese and honey vinaigrette.  It was one of the most unique and tasty salads I’ve ever had.  I was also given a choice of free dessert.  I chose a slice of chocolate cake, but had to take it to go, as I was too full.  It was also one of the best desserts I’ve ever had.

To say the least, this 66th Birthday celebration was one for the most memorable.  I was accompanied to dinner by three handsome young men whom I am very proud to call my sons!  It was full of surprises, not all of them on me!

Tammy Harvey  1/27/2026

Let the Sun Shine In

 

Let the Sun Shine In

It’s that one swatch of sunshine that streams through the window on a cold winter’s day.  It makes a slanting rectangular glow on the floor.  I stretch out on the carpet and take in the warmth of it.  It is like a natural heating pad to my back.  Face down on the carpet, I’m in a state of comfort like no other.  It is a warm cup of cocoa, a fuzzy blanket, and literally a ray of sunshine to my soul.  I am perplexed at how a simple thing can bring such happiness.  Oh, but to enjoy the little things life has to offer.  I am lulled to sleep by the relaxation it provides.  It is not even at my own house, but at my son’s home, in his playroom and I take advantage of it when I can.  Among the chaos of the playroom that is sometimes so loud it hurts my ears, is a respite.  A calm amid the storm.  When the boys are at school and the baby has gone down for her nap, I find myself lying in the sunshine, quietly.   In a place that is usually bustling with laughter, wrestling, gymnastics and child’s play.  My wish is that everyone could find a place of peace to rest their soul amongst the loud and chaotic world.  It doesn’t have to be an extravagant vacation or a trip to a tropical paradise with glorious views.  It can be as simple as the sunshine streaming in on a cold winter’s day.

Tammy Harvey  1/12/2026

As I title this story, I am reminded of the song by the 5^th Dimension in 1969, Aquarius (Let the Sunshine In).

The Woods, the Fort

 

The Woods, the Fort

Any patch of trees will do,

A vacant lot is tried and true,

For building forts as little boys,

Sticks and rocks are their toys,

A group of boys in the neighborhood,

Camaraderie-forming, as it should,

Shovels and rakes borrowed from dad,

And hours of strategic planning were had,

Raking away the piles of debris,

Making a path on hand and knee,

Digging holes to thwart the invaders,

Battling thorns and wearing waders,

To cross the creek, just north of the fort,

And muddy footprints, but mom’s a good sport,

Hours of fun, creating their own space,

It puts more than just a smile on their face,

Walkie-talkie communication,

More than just recreation,

It is teambuilding skills put into action,

It’s a rite of passage with much satisfaction,

Playing in the woods, getting dirty, feeling free,

Gaining independence, that is the key.

Tammy Harvey  1/12/2026

This poem was inspired by my two grandsons who have recently built a "fort" in the wooded lot next to their house along with the neighborhood boys.  Having raised three sons, I am particularly aware that this is an important part of growing up!

Fences

 

Fences

While taking a walk outside today,

I noticed a variety of fences along the way,

Some were wooden.  Others were metal or split rail,

Some looked strong and others looked terribly frail,

Some were for privacy, others for safety, as I walked by the school,

A backyard, a playground, a community swimming pool,

Fences were keeping others out; they were keeping others in,

And I remembered a familiar poem from way back when,

Robert Frost’s “Mending Wall” about a stone wall, in need of repair,

One neighbor diligently building while his neighbor questioned why the fence was even there,

“Good fences make good neighbors” is the idiom from this rhyme,

This saying has been stated time after time,

Boundaries are sometimes necessary to honor a person’s land,

It’s not about drawing a proverbial bold line in the sand,

It’s a matter of respect, I was taught as a girl,

You just don’t go wandering around like a feral squirrel,

Though fences should not be about isolation,

Hospitality defies any consternation,

Good neighbors treat others like they want to be treated,

It’s the golden rule and is worth being repeated.

Tammy Harvey  1/8/2025

Core Memories

 

Riding his Horse in the Snow

A terminally ill man, with not much time to spare,

A self-proclaimed “blessed man”, who was in our care,

A nasty brain tumor had taken away some of his mind,

But he remained positive, hopeful and undeniably kind,

He was sleeping a lot and had not much energy now,

Though an inspiration to us, an encourager somehow,

I asked him one day if he could do anything, what would it be?

He answered with something so simple for me,

He would ride horses in the snow and that was his answer,

It was a core memory he had, not taken by cancer,

In his youth he rode his appaloosa in the snow,

Somewhere in heaven he is riding I know,

The point to this story is oh so clear,

Make core memories while you can, my dear.

Tammy Harvey

12/23/2025

Beautiful You

 

Beautiful Hair

My two-and-a-half-year-old granddaughter is a joy to behold,

I may be prejudiced, but she’s more precious than gold,

A beautiful little girl with naturally curly hair,

Flowing gently down her back with cascading flair,

Perfectly formed ringlets, unbelievably so,

Bouncy and fun like a playful yo-yo,

A style envious of those with flat, straight locks,

Who try desperately to achieve the style she rocks,

With ponytails, pigtails and barrettes or bows,

Her hair is more beautiful the more that it grows,

Like an art gallery painting, it frames her face,

Capturing her sparkling blue eyes with a warm embrace,

Her hair is indicative of her free spirit and charm,

She is independent and opinionated, but does no harm,

“I am smart, I am kind, I am important, I am brave, I am beautiful and I love you”,

Are her nightly affirmations she has learned to recite,

Her heart is just as beautiful as her hair.  She is a delight.

Tammy Harvey (Gigi)

12/23/2025

PS- Happy 9th Birthday to Charles (firstborn grandson)!