Overthinking

 

Letting Myself Be Happy

I don’t know why when something good happens to me,
I am skeptical. It’s too good to be true. I’m undeserving. How can this be?
Overthinking is a problem I have. Creating a problem that’s not even there,
I don’t consider myself pessimistic, yet I am quite aware,
That the weather in life is not typically fair,
When things in life are all going too well,
I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, and only time will tell,
In the interim, why can’t I just find joy in the present?
Being happy for current situations: Being present,
Not anticipating the worst-case scenario,
Not obsessing over the what-if’s and what I don’t know,
Nine times out of ten, the worry is all for naught,
But in a web of delusional thoughts I am caught,
I am lecturing myself to change this ugly habit,
But cognitive thinking is a rascally rabbit,
Negative thoughts run fast and are hard to control,
Positive thoughts and happiness are my ultimate goal,
I don’t want to be skeptical of all things good,
I want to be happy, as I should.

Tammy Harvey
Written: 9/17/2021