Tuesday, April 5, 2022

Lost but Never Alone

 Deviating from my usual rhyming poetry, I wrote a short story for today's read.  It may or may not have actually happened, but I know I have always had a fear of being lost in the dark.


Lost but not Alone

There were no stars in the night sky.  The clouds had covered the moon.  It was a pitch black; a darkness that was haunting.  As she drove in the darkness, the white lines on the road looked blurred.  Her inability to see in front of her was alarming.  She clutched the steering wheel with a grip that caused her shoulders to raise and stiffen in a crouched position.  Her teeth were clenched tightly making her jaw throb in pain.  There was a hollowness in the pit of her stomach.  Her heart pounded deep in her chest, and she felt like her throat was going to close.  She blinked her eyes to try and clear the fog from her head.  The literal fog was blinding, and she was lost.  When and where she took the wrong turn was something she did not know.  Then rain started to fall.  As her windshield wipers kept the beat, fear overtook her, and her thoughts were running wild.  Her 1974 Chevy was running low on gas, or was it?  It was hard to know as the gas gauge was unreliable and had needed repair for some time.  Was she running on fumes? Would she be forced to stop along a road she did not know?  The rain came down harder, and she didn’t know where to go.  Her fear was overwhelming.  There were no road signs, no landmarks, no civilization.  She did not even see a random house along the roadside. She argued within herself whether to turn around and go back into the unknown or continue forward into the unknown.

It was tormenting to be driving alone, in the dark, possibly with no fuel and to be lost with no sense of direction.  She pulled off to the shoulder of the narrow road, laid her head down onto the steering wheel and began sobbing.  It was a sob that didn’t relieve her fear or distress; it only escalated her situation into a panic attack.  She tried to calm herself as she almost hyperventilated.  She rolled down her window and let the rain fall onto her face mixing with her tears.  Her hopelessness and her thought process had already begun to fabricate the horrible scenarios that could happen to her. 

At that moment, she began to pray, harder than she ever had in her lifetime: “Please God.  Help me.  Lead me.  Guide me. Keep me Safe. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”  Just as quickly, a calm came over her body.  The pressure inside her chest was lifted.  She knew she was not alone.  She realized she was never really alone.  Lost, yes.  Afraid, yes, but not alone.  She called on her heavenly Father to help her in her time of need.  Her strength was renewed, and she collected herself with a surge of confidence that was necessary to carry on.  It was then she decided to turn back.  She would turn around and go back the way she came.  With a deep breath and a huge exhale, she put the car in gear.

The rain slowly started to let up as she returned along the same route she had just travelled.  She had her resolve. Her shoulders relaxed some, and the clinch in her jaw softened.  Her mind which had been racing was starting to think more clearly.  And she prayed, “I put my trust in you Lord” and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.  The panic lifted and she had a feeling of safety.  She continued to drive, but still no other cars were in sight.  After about 3 miles, she heard a small voice inside her head urging her to turn right at the next road.  She thought it strange, but she had an uncontrollable urge to turn right, and she felt led to turn.  She made the turn, and the rain completely stopped.  Now her visibility had improved and even though nothing looked familiar to her, she felt better.  In another mile or so, she again felt compelled to make another turn.  After she made that turn, she began to pass a few cars along the way.  She was so encouraged.  Cars were coming from the direction she was heading.  That was a good sign.  “Thank you, Jesus” she said under her breath.  Almost without warning, the road opened up into a major intersection with a gas station on her right.  It was lit up brightly and was welcoming.  She had tears of joy flowing down her face as she pulled up slowly to the gas pumps.  She was definitely going to fill up her tank and go inside for directions.  Her prayers had been answered. Her heart was uplifted, and she knew she was going to be okay.

 In times of trouble, she had always been taught she could call on the God of all creation.  She had heard that her entire childhood.  She was raised to hear the miracles of Jesus in class every Sunday.  She remembered a poster that was in her classroom that proclaimed: “Faith is always stronger than Fear”.  She felt thankful and blessed.   Her faith had carried her through a frightening situation.  The next day she wrestled with the idea of sharing her experience with others.  Would they think she was a lunatic?  On one hand, she wanted to tell everyone she knew what had happened, but on the other hand, she was not willing to subject herself to the judgement of others.  Again, fear was dictating her life.  It was one thing for her to have a personal relationship with Christ, but it was quite another to be a witness for Him.  She knew the Lord called her to spread the good news, but she felt weak and unwilling.

The situation she had experienced produced a story that was perfect for sharing with others in order to share her faith.  It was relatable and powerful.  Maybe by sharing, she could help someone else call on God in their time of need.  It was a responsibility, but it felt like a burden.  For several days, she pondered what her co-workers would say if she shared with them.  Would they laugh?  Sympathize?  Understand?  She mustered up the courage.  Today would be the day.  Her whole headspace had become so exaggerated.  The what-ifs were a pile of doubt standing in her way, but she brushed it all aside.  During her lunchbreak she sat down as always across from the people who were her co-workers.  She thought it amazing how she could work with people every day and really not know anything about them and their spirituality. She poured her heart out to them, sharing the story of the night that was so overcome with fear, then joy.  Her emphasis was on the fact that the Holy Spirit had led her out of the darkness and into the light.  The response was enormously positive.  They weren’t skeptical of her.  She didn’t think they thought she was a lunatic.  Some pondered the story, and others soaked it up like a sponge.  One lady with tears in her eyes said she knew the power of the Holy Spirit.  It was refreshing to find a fellow believer.  For others, she knew she had planted a seed.  Someone else might have to come along to water it and help it grow, but she felt she had fulfilled her calling.

Sharing the gospel is hard for most, but it is made easier through personal experiences we all go through.  These real-life situations are happening all around us.  If God performs a miracle for you, be sure to share it with others.  It is a gift he is giving you to give to others.  Look for God working in your life every day.  He is there.  You are not alone! 

Tammy Harvey

2/28/2022




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