Gaining a Daughter-in-Law

 

Gaining a Daughter-in-law

My husband grew up with only brothers.  We had only sons, three of them.  He was always hoping for that little girl to join our family.  There had been some talk about adoption, but nothing serious.  All he could hope for was to get a granddaughter.   Little did he know that a daughter-in-law would fit the bill.  Our oldest son met his future wife in his senior year in high school, 2006.  They dated all throughout the college years, long-distance at times.  All this to say that by the time Thomas and Danielle got married, we had known Danielle and her family for 6 years.  They married on November 11, 2012.  They lived in a townhome not far from us.  Yet, when the house next door to us became available, my husband insisted they move there.  It was not a starter home.  It was not really suitable for a newly married couple.  It had more square footage than our house!  He insisted we become co-owners and become neighbors.  So, we did.

 At this point, I got to see just how much he doted on his only daughter-in-law.  You could see he respected her spunkiness and work ethic.  She was a transplant from New York, Brooklyn-born then Long Island resident until her 5^th grade year.  It was then her family moved to Cary.  She had that northern grit about her.  She challenged him in his way of thinking.  She didn’t just “yes, sir” him, but spoke her mind.  She was a hard-worker too and had managed to buy the townhome herself before they married.  He admired her drive to succeed.  They had their friendly disagreements.  I think he was more accustomed to the typical southern charm than the northern grit.  When it came to giving her what she wanted, he was at her service.  He was a handyman and could do just about any task around the home. 

At one point, she was trying to make the house her own and decided to makeover the laundry room.  My husband retired in 2015 and had time on his hands.  He jumped at the chance to do something for Danielle.  Her vision was to remove the wallpaper in the laundry room, paint it and add a chandelier.  A chandelier!  Adding this new light fixture to replace the fluorescent box light required some sheetrock work, but my husband would never shy away from that challenge.  He proceeded to strip the wallpaper.  He prepared the walls for painting.  She chose a bright coral color which I supposed my husband detested but did not question.  He painted it with an attitude of service.  I think acts of service was his love language.  When it came to the light fixture, it seemed absurd to put this little fake crystal chandelier in that space, yet he did it without question.  When it was all completed, she was delighted with her new space.  I then proceeded to say to him that I thought our laundry room could use a little remake.  I spoke of hanging a chandelier, but to my surprise he yelled out “no” before I could get the suggestion out of my mouth.  That proved to me that he was willing to do whatever his daughter-in-law wanted and this was only one example.  He finally got the “little girl” he needed to spoil. 

As the story goes, he passed away in 2018 after a short nine-month battle with brain cancer.  He gained another daughter-in-law in 2015 after another lengthy courtship when our second son married his high school sweetheart.  My husband loved her too.  She gave him his first grandson, Charles.  It would be the only grandchild he would get to meet.

In time, probably 2020-21, the kitchen remodel was in full swing at the house next door.  Danielle had redesigned her kitchen, including the laundry room again.  As I watched the fake crystal chandelier come down, I asked her if I could keep it.  After all, I was building a new home of my own, downsizing, and thought it would make a great keepsake.  It now hangs in my walk-in closet at my new home.  It is not wired, just a memento of the days that my husband pampered his daughter-in-law.

In 2022, as fate would have it, Danielle became pregnant with a little girl and gave birth to the first granddaughter, Nellie Rae who was born on June 17, 2023.  If my husband was here, I’m sure she would be his pride and joy.  Somehow, though, I think he met her first.

As he did his other grandson Grayson who was born in 2019 to Ted and Cassie.  Then in 2024, we got the surprise of it all, when Cassie gave birth to another little granddaughter Hannah Cameron, on June 7, 2024.

My husband would have loved all of his grandchildren, but I know he would have really loved being “grandpa, grandpa, grandpa” to these two little girls.  As my son with 2 boys has realized, girls are different.  They wrap their daddies around their little fingers.

Tammy Harvey  2/2/2026