Spiritual Mothers

 

Running out of Time

The assignment was clear, and the deadline had been on my calendar for weeks.  Somehow, I had pushed it aside in favor of other more pressing issues.  To put it more precisely:  I procrastinated!

Now this paper was due this afternoon, by four o’clock, double-spaced with 1” margins.  The English paper that had to be done properly, not just thrown together at the last minute.  The directive was to write about someone who had made a difference.  Well, of course, there are innumerable historical figures to choose from.  That seemed boring and too predictable.  I thought about my life.  I wanted to write about someone who had made a difference to me.  I was blessed to have had multiple “spiritual mothers” during my journey to adulthood:  Mary McKown, Margaret Rogers, Helen Ashby, Kay Singleton, Mary Kelly.  I define a spiritual mother as someone who takes you under their wing during pivotal times in your life and gives you unconditional love and support.  They are more than your friend.  They are a role model.  It is these women who help shape you into who you are and want to be.  They are older, wiser and nurturing. My own mother would qualify, but I want to focus on the women outside my family who were there for me.  Looking back, I can see God’s hand in this.  He put me in places and situations but surrounded me with special women to help guide me.  The choice is hard, but I choose to write about Mary McKown.  She was a special lady to so many young ladies, not just me.  

I met Mary as a thirteen-year-old (1973) while playing softball in a recreational league.  She was my coach for several years. When I aged out of the league, we remained friends.  I went off to college which was a good 20 minutes from the ballpark in Rocky Hill, but she wanted me to help her coach. She trusted my judgement, and I was thrilled, but I had no car on campus.  It was impossible to get to the ballfield.  Mary would not take “no” for an answer.  She worked uptown near campus, so she decided to pick me up on her way home from work on game days.  That seemed reasonable, but after the game or practice she also drove me back to campus before returning home.  That is a big commitment.  Talk about feeling special and important.  I was astounded at the confidence she had in me.  I was a freshman in college.  I had few life experiences to draw from.  This was the beginning of many times that special woman entered my life to encourage me.  Mary not only inspired me, but all of the girls she coached, and there were many.  She coached many years after her own daughter was no longer a player.  Mary lived just two minutes from the ballpark behind Rocky Hill Elementary School which is where I attended elementary school.  I’ll never forget how she took the time to pick me up and drive me back to my dormitory.  That was probably an extra 45 minutes out of her evening after working all day and coaching her team.  I went on to graduate college and move to Florence, SC.  We never lost touch.  Every Christmas she sent me greetings and a letter about her life.  I did the same.  She was at my wedding, visited me at my parents’ house after my first son was born and was a true friend.  Through the Christmas letters, she always knew what was happening in my life and I in hers.  She had two daughters of her own.  She became a grandmother of twins.  I had three sons, and she watched them grow up through photographs.  On occasion, we would get together while I was in town, but very infrequently.  She lived in the same house the entire time I knew her, and then after her husband of 47 years “Doc” passed away in 2004, she moved to Florida in 2013 to be near her daughter. 

Mary went from an angel on earth to a heavenly angel on October 18, 2017, just 2 days after her 94^th birthday.  Mary McKown made a difference, not only in my life but in so many more teenage girls’ lives.

I am encouraged when I think about her.  She was my first “spiritual mother”.

The assignment is complete.  Tammy Harvey   6/1/2022